TGC 001 | The One With The Way-Too-Much-Assing

Enough of this already! I've been staring down this blank page in my mind for the past few weeks. The first newsletter, the first official newsletter of That Good Club! But no one is subscribed yet, so this should be the most free part of it where I can write anything!! Right?! (WRITE!!!!)

Alas, the mental block of the blank page is stopping me. So we're stream-of-consciousing this thing until I can extract from this here little mind soup all that I want to say for this first official issue of That Good Club.

Recall, dear ones (okay, mostly me). Starting off ugly is the way it's done here. The quality only goes up from here. Gotta start somewhere. Gotta start...

Ah, Imposter Syndrome. It feels kind of trite, like a storybook character or a quaint, make-believe ailment. A funny little name for a funny little monster living in my funny little head. That funny little monster who pushes me past any semblance of comfort or tranquility in the pursuit of more and more and better and better.

It's the cuckoo clock chiming in my mind instructing me to check over something one, two, three, four times before I deliver the mere first draft. It pops up when I'm doing anything - even outside of work.

Am I conjugating this verb correctly in French? Am I going to be found out for being a stranger in a strange land? What's wrong with that? Am I driving okay for my passenger? Is my dad going to make a joke that I shouldn't drive and my husband should just take over? Is my husband going to laugh? Am I going to spiral down a few levels and question my driving to myself, aware of every sharper than normal turn?

But then I speak to myself a bit more calmly.

And things slow down, just a bit. You speak French just fine, my gal. You have an accent of course, but accents are hot. You're a fine driver, ma'am. Actually, not just fine - I'm a really good, confident, and relaxed driver.

And then everything simmers down a bit. No more circling, no more spinning. No more rushing to outrun that funny little sadistic monster on the lookout for the slightest scratch in the armour.

I came to a certain understanding with myself some time ago. It's this idea that even my (and other people's) half-assing something is probably lightyears ahead of a lot of people's whole-assing something.

And that's a helpful thought when I'm way-too-much-assing, as one sometimes (ahem, often) does.

I've put the expectations I have on myself to such a high and impossible level that if I simply take a step or twelve back, I still deliver. Albeit in a much more enjoyable, realistic way.

And Reese Witherspoon (of all people, Reese Witherspoon) said something on the Las Culturistas podcast recently that truly stopped me in my tracks. Her hypnotist helped her realise that she was going to get to the same result in whatever it was she was doing, but she could choose get rid of all the anxiety in the middle.

From Reese:

The cornerstone of that work is understanding that you're gonna perform at the same level whether you're stressed about it or not stressed about it. So decide to take the stress out.

Decide to take the stress out. Just like that ✨

But it doesn't stop there. I do great work and when things go well, they don't stay that way for long in my head. It could've been better, it always can be better. How do we make this better. Better. Better. For God's sake, better! Who's going to find me out next? Who is that shadowy figure right around the corner? Who's going to take it all away from me? What is there to take, really?

Bowen Yang asked Reese:

At what point do you believe that to be true? That you don't need all the stuff in the middle?

And Reese came back with a mic-drop of a response:

When you can let the compliments in.

Oh.

This is still something I'm working on, especially in the pressure-cooker times. But I'm happy to say we're getting there.

Introducing That Good Club!

I'm so excited for this project. It's an idea of mine that's been stewing for a while now.

I want That Good Club to be a peek behind the curtain: conversations with women who have dealt with not feeling "good enough" in any area of their lives. And how they overcome it on a daily basis. Or how they overcame it altogether. Though I think it may be more of a journey rather than a destination type of thing, what with different stages of life and different challenges and that whole thing. But always open to a full and definitive overcoming any day of the week.

I'm planning to speak to women in my life that I know or love or admire or wish to emulate (or maybe all of the above), and then printing our conversations in an anonymous fashion. I want their specific identities protected so they can fully speak out about their experiences, without needing to guard their professional brand or worry about outing themselves for talking about someone or something in particular.

The life and career conversations we have behind closed doors. All of it. I have yet to see anything done quite like this, and I think it simply drips with intrigue.

I'm on a mission to help women recognize that maybe they're not that bad. Maybe they're just that good.

"Give yourself a moment and let it in. Because you really are that talented. And you really, really deserve where you're at." — Reese Witherspoon

Maybe we're not so bad after all. Maybe we're just

THAT GOOD.

If any of this is landing for you, you're exactly who this is for.

Welcome to That Good Club.

P.S. I loved the Reese interview on Las Culturistas! Highly recommend a watch or listen.